Einstein Bros. Bagels is familiar to anyone who’s taken a class in Jody Richards Hall, worked in the computer lab into the wee hours of the morning, or simply followed the scent of toasty bagels wafting through campus to its source. But this leads to a dilemma: We are offered this cornucopia of carbohydrates, but our meal plan dollars dwindle quickly, and we are forced to make a choice — a choice that says a lot about who we are. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but show me a person’s Einstein’s order, and I can tell you the quality of their character.

Here’s what your Einstein’s order says about you.


Plain bagel with regular cream cheese

You’re not the kind to rock the boat. You know what works, and you’re not going to waste time and money venturing into the unknown (what do they even put on “everything” bagels, anyway?). The world appreciates your straightforwardness.


Cinnamon sugar bagel

You’re always looking toward the brighter side of life, and your energy can light up an entire room — but when you crash, you crash hard. Better add a vanilla iced latte to that order. You know what? Add another shot of espresso.


Egg and cheddar sandwich

You’re a self-sufficient type, somebody everyone can count on to do the right thing. You’re a sturdy and reliable person, and you need a sturdy and reliable breakfast to fuel you for the day.


Nova lox

Did you know in New York they put salmon on their bagels? You knew that, of course, as you are quite the worldly type. You want everything that life has to offer, and you’re not scared to put yourself out there (or put red onions on your sandwich).


Shmearfulls

You’re a go-getter who loves the convenience of these little dough balls full of cream cheese. You don’t have time to sit down with a messy bagel and risk getting cream cheese all over your freshly-ironed clothes! With these, you can eat breakfast with one hand and send emails with the other.


Black coffee

You think the line is too long, but you’re already here so you feel like you have to get something.

 

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