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I came home from the Welcome Back WKU fair last Wednesday and dumped three bags of free stuff on my floor. How do you even begin to sort through all of the koozies, papers, tape measures and cups?

What should I keep, and what should I run over with my car?

 

koozie

What makes a good koozie? Is it the functionality? Design and color? Has anyone ever actually paid for one?

While each koozie will keep your drink cool pretty equally, the orange Nat’s koozie is the winner because of the eye catching color. The ugly Pawn koozie earned some nice battle scars from my tire treads.

 

earbuds

I hooked these earbuds up to my iPod, and it sounded as though I was listening to my music through a tin can. The sound quality improved after I ran over them.

 

empty bottle

The intramural table shoved little deodorant sticks into my hands and slipped body wash bottles into my bags. Maybe I smell?

The body wash smelled nice as the weight of my Honda Element sent it spraying everywhere. The deodorant stuck in the treads of my tires. Clearly tire treads are the armpit hair of cars.

 

chip clips

My house was in desperate need of chip-clips. I didn’t run these over with my car. Sorry!

 

cups
The cups were a nice gesture, but they’re a bit too small. After running one cup over, I could still drink out of it. That counts for something.

 

pens

Pens are always great, but they’re easy to come by. I just ran them all over.

The Talisman pen held up the best.

 

water gun

I was really excited about this squirt gun, but the aim was poorly engineered. It was better off flattened.

Watch the full, slow-motion video of these objects getting run over by my Honda below.