If you’re like many of us here at the Talisman, you spend a lot of time in Cherry Hall. Whether you’re in a history class, an English forum or a religious studies course, you often find yourself in that classic building overlooking all the rest, the one you have to sweat through your clothes to reach.

And within that classic building are many treasures: abundant knowledge and friends, kind professors and study groups, cool hangouts and creepy halls. But perhaps best of all and least discussed are the treasures within the single place we all frequent: the Cherry Hall bathrooms.

We felt these bathrooms needed to be explored. So now, prepare yourself for the inaugural exposé of the writers, poets and motivators behind these stalls.

Women’s restrooms

Oh man, this is some deep stuff here, Mary. You leave us with so many questions. Could art still help grief? Or is that a no go, too? How about tacos? Can tacos cure grief? What happened to you, Mary? Are you okay?

This is another puzzler. Now I’m more confused than ever. It’s like when Neville Longbottom got that remembrall in “Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone.” It’s no use! Now I’m just stressed about what I can’t remember that I forgot.

Now this is a sweet one. And what could be more Cherry Hall than to have a community of bathroom dwellers sharing their favorite reads? Precious.

Ah, how lovely. I’m not sure I’m prepared to sit on strange floors, but I do thoroughly enjoy sleeping in familiar beds — and reading this poem.

This is an intense one. Someone has painstakingly taken the time to write out different learning styles. Allow me to translate in case you’re having trouble:

“Figure out how you learn. Audio learner through listening. Textual learner — with your hands. Visual learner — by watching. Then study only through which one works for you, I am a textual learner so I write out my notes an [sic] It works better than reading them 10 times. Hope this helps.”

Well, the intention here seems to be good. But in addition to not forgetting how to live or breathe, also don’t forget to check your spelling…

I’ve never agreed more. Go listen to it now. It’s life-changing.

Hm. Interesting. Does this make me a Cheeto-Puff?

Men’s restrooms

Now, female audience: prepare yourself for a real treat. In search of treasure and truth, I took on the task of not only exploring the womens’ bathrooms, but also the mens’. Brace yourselves.

(Also, to all the gents, no worries. It was after hours.)

Right away we’re getting into some dark stuff. If the writer behind this admission is reading now, please know you’re not alone and there are lots of coping mechanisms for this troubling affliction. And other writer, if you’re reading, show some kindness!

This one is a doozy. I shall once more translate in case you’re struggling:

“In the days of old / when nights were cold / and toilets weren’t invented / They laid their load upon the road / and walked away contented.”

Wow. Deep stuff there.

And finally, we have this one, which once again leaves us with so many unanswered questions. What is mecha? When I searched it online it said something about robots. Is this what the author meant? Are robots taking over? What does this mean?

I need to go recover from all these thought-provoking entries, and I’m sure you do, too. So for now, happy contemplating.

Oh, and keep doodling, Hilltoppers.