Holy, Halloween! Did this holiday sneak up on you as much as it did me? Did you sink to the floor and weep at the thought of going out and buying a costume for one night?
Well, stop your crying because I have a solution to your costume chaos that won’t make your bank account dwindle. Here are nine items you probably already have in your closet that can help you put together the perfect Halloween costume.
1. Striped T-shirt
Wear a striped T-shirt to dress up as a pirate or a mime.
Guys: Ahoy, Matey! A striped t-shirt, an eye patch (you can easily get some felt and string from Hobby Lobby and make one of these bad boys), a red bandana and you’re ready to set sail.
Ladies: Are you worried about a creepy guy trying to talk to you at your costume party? Well, this costume is perfect! Just act like you’re trapped inside of a box and slowly fade out …
2. Flannel
Put on a flannel and dress up as Nick Miller from New Girl or a girl in a coffee shop.
Guys: Put on a graphic t-shirt, accompanied by a slightly dirty flannel. You’ll need to instantly start cracking sarcastic jokes and fawning over anyone that looks remotely like Jessica Day to pull this costume off.
Ladies: Toss a flannel over your shoulders or tie it around your waist. Then, sit in a chair and look longingly out the nearest window pondering your deepest thoughts.
3. Chicago Bulls Jersey
Dress up as a basketball player or Beyoncé by wearing a Chicago Bulls jersey.
Guys: Don’t sit the bench this Halloween. Throw on your Michael Jordan jersey and knock ’em dead, sport.
Ladies: I know you run the world every day, girlfriend, but really channel your inner Queen B for your next costume party. Bust out your Bulls jersey or body suit, and drink a nice cold glass of lemonade.
4. Oversized, ripped T-shirt
A ripped, oversized T-shirt will help make you look like Justin Bieber or Kylie Jenner.
Guys: Imma tell you ONE TIME (haha, get it?), to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a teen heartthrob, juvenile delinquent, pop sensation, obsessive boyfriend, Instagram-account deleter. All you need is an oversized T-shirt that looks like you got attacked by a bear, a pair of baggy pants, a trucker hat, and a pair of sneakers.
Ladies: Slip this t-shirt over your head and put on your thigh high suede boots, grab your abundance of dogs, your rapper boo, and go on your merry Halloween way. OH! & don’t forget your matte lipstick, ladies.
5. Denim Shirt
Wear a denim shirt and dress up as a cowboy or Rosie the Riveter.
Guys: Ladies love country boys, right? Well, if you’re trying to find your cowgirl this Halloween, put on your denim shirt, pull on your boots and giddy up.
Ladies: A red bandanna and a denim shirt is all you need to show some major girl power. We can do it!
6. Fingerless gloves
Slide on a pair of fingerless gloves to look like John Bender from The Breakfast Club or to rock some 90s grunge.
Guys: Don’t you forget about being John Bender from the Breakfast Club. Cut the sleeves off of a flannel and wear a white long-sleeve shirt underneath. Put on some black jeans, combat boots, and throw your fist covered by fingerless gloves triumphantly in the air.
Ladies: I know you’re proud to be a 90s baby, so get grungy this Halloween by sporting some fingerless gloves, a flannel around your waist, a Nirvana T-shirt and denim shorts with fishnet tights underneath.
7. Bow Tie
Wear a bow tie and dress up as Magic Mike or Mary Poppins. What do these two have in common, you may ask? They both have fantastic dance moves, and you never know what they’re going to pull out of their bag (wink wink).
Guys: Channing Tatum has nothing on you. Strap on some suspenders with your silk black bow tie and use your dance moves as a way to solicit dolla dolla bills from inebriated partygoers.
Ladies: The key to a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Mary Poppins costume is a perky red bowtie. Add an umbrella and a spoonful of sugar and you’re ready for Halloween.
8. A colored printer (and very sticky tape)
Celebrate the joys of Snapchat and our basic generation by becoming the infamous dog or flower-crown Snapchat filters for Halloween.
Guys: Dress up as the Snapchat dog filter. Print puppy ears and a nose, stick them to your face and try to resist the urge to take selfies with everyone you see.
Ladies: This one is a bit more tricky than the lads. But, print off a flower crown, stick it to your hair, contour that pretty face, go grab some Starbucks, and then let your basic freak fly for this holiday.
9. Red Sweater
Take your red sweater and dress up as Internet sensation Ken Bone.
Guys and ladies: be the true star of the presidential debates and rock that ruby red sweater with a classic crisp white collar underneath. Add that signature mustache to complete the look.
There you have it, folks. Merry Halloween, ya filthy pumpkins. Have a fun and safe weekend!