This Embarrassing, Western Life: A Chronicle

Through the looking glass — oh wait, that’s just a wall

You’ve made your way into a student ambassadorial position at the university and — let’s be real — you’re feeling yourself. Then you’re asked to serve on a student search committee that involves being in a conference room in the president’s office. How could it get better than this?

After the meeting, you confidently make your way out of the building, fingers poised to send a witty tweet about your “v-important” self. Just as you’re about to hit send, you hit something else instead: your body, face and eyeballs against a glass wall.

Use this unfortunate opportunity to bond with the staff over your embarrassing mishap. Try to leave the office with a shred of dignity. Also, take a note from Jennifer Lawrence and get off your phone.



For your eyes only

Let’s be honest — bathroom time is a private experience. You do your best to honor the unspoken bathroom rules by avoiding contact unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, the bathrooms in Cherry Hall aren’t the most accommodating.

You wrestle yourself into the stall and realize the door is significantly shorter than you are. Were people just smaller when Cherry was built in 1937? You do your best to get your business done quickly, especially when you realize how weird it might be if your professor is in the next stall.



Massively Malevolent Titanium Hatches, also known as the MMTH Doors

You’re running to class in Mass Media, but you’ve found an unexpected obstacle: the doors.

It seems like there might be someone controlling them from afar. Or the doors might have a mind of their own. Or maybe you just don’t have the upper body strength.

You try to play it cool, but you really have to throw every ounce of your strength into opening those doors. And don’t worry: they always hit you back.



When the lights go down (and you have an existential crisis)

You arrive extra early to your class and enter the abandoned classroom to enjoy some light Facebooking in your alone time. While it’s pretty cool that so many WKU classrooms have automatic lights to preserve energy, it’s kind of a bummer when the lights turn off on you.

Now you have to decide: wait in the darkness and hope that the girl you-only-kind-of-know doesn’t walk in, or  jump around until the lights kick back on.



Take a tumbling tour of Kentucky’s most beautiful campus

You wore the wrong shoes on an unexpectedly rainy day. When you accidentally slide your way through the EST lobby, just play it off like you were inspired to do some lunges. If you’re confident enough, no one will know the difference.

Who says you need to go to Preston to work out?


You’re rushing to class, worrying about your political science exam and desperately trying to cram a few more historical dates into your brain. Your distracted mind forgets to pay the special attention needed for walking up the stairs in Grise Hall. The dark lighting and surprisingly steep incline in the staircase definitely doesn’t help. You trip on your way up.

You take out the guy below you.

He probably deserved it.


You’ve slogged your way through a snow-covered campus but didn’t take the appropriate care on those steps outside the library. After you lose your footing and suffer a bruise or two, take comfort knowing that someone else is bound to meet the same fate in a few minutes.

Thanks for not cancelling, Skipper, Bob.


You took the bus up the Hill to the stop outside Cherry Hall on one of those early spring days when the wind and weird humidity makes a good hair day impossible. Upon exiting, a sturdy gust throws you off balance.

Before you know it, you start rolling down College Street.

Father Mike waves at you as you tumbleweed past the St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Campus Center. You start to slow down around 13th Street, passing your mildly concerned friends enjoying themselves on the Hilligan’s patio. You finally roll to a stop, Cherry Hall glaring down at you with judgmental window-eyes.

At least you saved some time by not riding the bus again.